i’m on it
I answer 50 personal questions in under 3 minutes. It gets weird. Check it out here (x)
I did the TMI tag and it actually turned out ok. Go me!
So, as some of you have probably noticed, I’ve been kind of distant the past few months. I accidentally dropped out of life for like 6 months. And I should probably explain myself.
So, I graduated from college. It’s really weird going from being CONSTANTLY busy for the first 22 years of your life, to complete freedom. So I moved back home during the summer to put all my time, energy, and money into moving to LA to get a stable job and do YouTube things on the side. SPOILER ALERT: I failed pretty hard. Constant rejection, or worse, no response whatsoever eats at you on such a deep level. And it bummed me out. So I went into a pretty dark place for awhile. Not suicidal or anything, I’ve overcome that feeling. But I just constantly felt unmotivated. I’ve been happy, but in a creative slump. I spent weeks doing absolutely nothing. Not a thing. I was a waste of human existence, and it brought me back into depression. But this was a different depression then anything else I had ever experienced. I just felt kind of like a failed life. It was at this point I stopped really making videos, tweeting, and engaging with all of you that supported me.
It was also right after this point that I chose to have some me time. I needed to pick myself up. I’m 22. Which is still young. So I used my YouTube career to create this me time. You guys helped me get a free car and such. I’ve been doing a lot of traveling. I had some awesome times in New York City and Los Angeles. And I’m going back to LA in a few weeks. I also took time to work on other projects. But talking with a few of my friends, a lot of us are unemployed failing to get a steady job. We’re all in this weird standstill.
I kind of came to the realization that I need to go back to what I know. I’m still in a creative slump when it comes to Twitter, but I’ve got so much in store for my YouTube. I’m sorry for the past few months. I feel so bad that I’ve let myself down. I feel even worse that at the same time, I feel like I’ve let some of you down. I really enjoy entertaining you.
I’m still devoting a decent chunk of my time to the job hunt. But I’m going back to hardcore making dumb videos. I hope you’re okay with that. It’s not an issue of money or anything. I’ve never made substantial money from my videos. Never enough to do it full time. And if that ends up happening one day, rad! If not, I’m still going to do this. I make videos honestly because I love making entertaining content for you. I love that more than anything else in the world. The rush I feel from a tweet or a video that does well with you guys is unlike any drug I could ever take. I live to entertain. That’s just who I am. It’s actually pretty self serving haha.
In conclusion: If you’re a company plz hire me. haha! No but seriously. You can’t learn to put yourself together until you break. I broke. I am still broken. But I’m putting the pieces back together. So December will be fun. Cause I’m turning everything around. This is a new chapter. And I hope that you stay along for the ride. And thank you again for everything. And hell, if you have questions about my situation or anything, inbox me. I’m gonna be up. Let’s chat.
SONG THAT RELATES: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szn-khvkOWs
My channel if you dont know it and are randomly following my blog: http://www.youtube.com/jared
Why Bisexuality isn’t selfish. Shoutout to Tom Daley.